Persuasive Essay

In school, my Language Arts teacher made me write a persuasive essay; here it is:

Potatoes
Have you ever felt life was boring? Your life is empty? Or, have you ever been very hungry? Well, your life is pretty messed up. But, there is a cure for your messed-up-life-itis. If you are wondering why I am not telling you is because I am bringing up the suspense. You can buy a POTATO! One POTATO; isn’t that INCREDIBLE?
Get one of my potatoes for 0.65 dollars and you can do many things. You can throw it at your brother sister when they’re bugging you. You can hit the potato against your neighbor when they are using their hair dryer at 1:00 in the morning. You can also paint him white. Then, make face parts on it and make designs on him and start a company, which will make you very rich just because of a POTATO!
You can bring your custom potato to the park and sell it and be rich. You can also use custom potato to make a TV show called, “Tater’s Adventures” starring your potato. Imagine how fun this is. I know I do.
There are many ways you can eat him too. You can grill him. You can make him into curly fries. You can make him into French fries. You can bake him. You can even make up ideas that I did not give. Having a potato is very fun but you should not eat him the second you receive him. There is many things you can do with a potato that I did not mention but, I bet you come up with different ideas. Potatoes are very friendly and tasty but you should not underestimate them. They will haunt you. What can you do with a potato?