Manic Motels

When I was on my trip from Florida to New York, I stopped at a motel for the night. It was called "What's that smell? Motel". I said to myself,"It does not sound very nice, but I'm exhausted, so I might stay anywhere possible". But my idea was terrible because thirty minutes later I ran out that motel. The motel looked like if it had been covered in toilet paper, all the floors were brown, the ceiling was ripped and had spiders crawling-I swear, before I left, a spider jumped on me landed on my shoulder-on it. For some reason it wasn't a motel because it didn't have rooms, it had coffins the size of a chicken nugget. So I left that day, and looked for a better motel that had rooms. I go to a motel called, "We have WIFI! Motel". I went inside and I went to check in to the motel. I said to the woman in the front desk, "I'd like to check-in". She said "Okay, that will be $100". I paid the $100 and went to my room. At the end of the hallway to my room was a door to somewhere I didn't know, so I opened the door and saw the last motel I was at!

Monkey Business

If you don't know I live in a very large house with a laptop typing my posts for your laughter everyday, keep not knowing because I live in an apartment with a monkey named Jorge. Unfortunately, Jorge is a very sad monkey. He is always crying and crying and crying, so one day I bought a girl monkey for him to feel better and for him to have a better life. So as soon I showed him his girlfriend he wrote-because he can't talk-that he was sadder than before because he said that now more people we're going to die earlier then he was, so I called a pet therapist to get my monkey to feel happy and therapy did not work so I had to do saddest thing that came to mind; a monkey sale. I ended up selling Jorge to a very sad man. These to sad people ended up smiling at each other. As soon as Jorge left, I cried. I sold the second monkey the day later and bought a new one that was very happy, but that monkey died the next day. To this day I don't own any monkeys.

Freaky Fatso Neighbor

One morning I wake up to see two things; A beautiful morning and a very fat man whom I knew was neighbor I and asked him,"Why are you here?". He didn't answer. I asked again and he punched my stomach. "What's your problem" I said. He said with a deaf voice, "I can't hear you idiot". He started screaming at the top of his lungs and climbed to the roof of my house and jumped down, and that is how I started my Saturday.